Life is a Revelation…be encouraged

Archive for the day “April 15, 2012”

Before We Go Any Further

Stop Sign 2 Clip Art




Here is my point…lying and believing are intertwined. Someone once commented they believed people wanted to hear a lie just as often as they wanted to be told the truth. While I”m not ready to whole-heartedly embrace that philosophy, I do believe there is a connection between lying and what we want to hear.

Do I believe there should be a NO LYING DAY? Absolutely. I would love to see the concept reported on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, the news wires, and go viral. What a great concept. The realty will probably fall far short.

Why? Because many of us are simply comfortable in our lies. It is where we live and work. Our lies are no more a distinct separate part of our existence. They are part and parcel of who we are. We have lived and breathed them for so long, that our lies feel like the truth, and the truth now feels as strange as lies once did.

We operate in a world that not only encouraged the use of falsehoods, but actually, it many respects rewards it. Whatever the reason for lying, we are masters at justifying it. All the way from “everybody does it” (which is probably true) to “it wasn’t REALLY a lie.”  If we want to, we can find an excuse.

I have received several emails and comments about this subject. Many writers were intrigued by the question of morality it raises, others were more interested in the philosophical underpinnings. There were writers who complained of my over-simplified explanation. The point is, the issue of lying, deserves to be a topic of conversation. It needs the light of us blog writers, the press, think tanks, TED talks, church groups, and folks sitting around having a few beers. In my heart I believe change bubbles up. Only when we the common folk, the 99%, the silent majority, or whatever it is we are going by now, rise up and say, “Wait a minute! This is an issue. Lets talk about it.”, we are going to continue to experience an erosion of truth it all its forms.

I hope this post causes you to think. After you think about lies, and truth, and the role you play in it, maybe you will talk. Start a conversation with a loved one, or your child, the neighbor, your pastor, those in your study group, or any one who is willing to listen. With all my heart I believe change bubbles up. And, just maybe, some day we really will have a day of NO LYING.

Be encouraged!


From Those Who Comment…

This post is purely inspired by those who commented on Lying–Maybe…Maybe Not.

Lem Usita writes at His post show a deft knowledge of leadership and how it ought to work. Her posts are filled with practical, rubber-meets-the-road type of information that I personally crave. I am the just-tell-me-what-to-do-and get out-of-the-way kind of guy, and Lem tells you what and how to do it. He wrote:

You bring up an interesting idea for me – this idea that lying takes on different forms depending on your stage of development – pick your developmental theory. I need to think about what a lie looks like in light of this. Do you have any articles that talk about this?
Thanks for the post.

I responded with:

Lem, first of all let me say how much I enjoy your posts regarding leadership. I would like to swap a few emails, or even a phone call or two , to discuss my experiences in leadership development at a Global 100 manufacturing firm. I think you’ll find the stories interesting.

Developmental theories are kind of like a bad haircut, everyone has had one, but their idea of what it is differs widely. Lying when we are younger is often seen as punishment avoidance. Q.-Did you spill the milk? A.-No way, the cat did it. As we age lying is the result of peer acceptance or is seen as a useful tool to gain something. Such as Q.-Hey Dad, can I have the car keys? A./Q.-Did you get your room cleaned like your Mom asked? A.-Yeah, pretty much (Reality-room looks like a bomb went off in it, but you told the guys it would be no problem getting your Dad’s car and promised to pick them up at 6:00). By the time you have graduated from college and entered the work force, the lies start to look more like CYA. Q.-Did you get the Jones Report done? A.-Yeah, you’ll have it on your desk when you arrive in the morning. (Reality-What the hell is the Jones report?)

If you look at Maslow and Metamotivation, is it possible we are seeking fulfillment of our Being Needs via lying through our teeth?

I don’t have any articles which speak directly about what I’ve written. However, I have pulled from Psychology Journals, books, magazines, newspapers, and friends who I have bombarded with questions, concepts, and theories. While sitting around having a few beers I have often pulled the topic of our conversation from whether the Yankees will pull it together to make another run for the pennant to when do our dreams become reality?

I drive my friends nuts, but as long as I’m buying, they seem to hang around. lol

My email is Give me a holler and maybe we can exchange phone numbers. By the way…what do you think…when do dreams become reality?

Another comment I received was from 5kidsmom. She writes at Her writing is clear, pure and cleverly insightful. I have always deeply enjoyed her thought process and delivery. Also in the interest of honesty; her and I have discovered we share remarkably similar, yet different perspectives, so we have agreed to collaborate on a book. She wrote th:

oh my….
>>>>>”Some men (not all, ;) have to lie about ‘WHY’ they lie!!<<<<<<
Rack ’em up boys!! Keep lying about why you’re lying, we’re listening LOL! What he doesn’t realize is….while little boys are lying to their mothers, (???FEAR??) little girls are being taught by their fathers, BOYS LIE!
Too late MacIntyre—-we’re onto you, and just like you, we started ‘getting it’, from a very young age!! That’s no lie ;) One more thing, boys lying to their Mom’s didn’t really make life easier, it probably just sparred them the consequences. So come on guys, you lie because you’re afraid of the wrath lol!

I responded:

Gosh, this lying thing has started our own little personal firestorm. Why? Well probably for two reasons. 1.) We all do it. We aren’t exactly proud of that fact. We don’t go around saying, “Alright! I just told another whopper!” Truth is we are ashamed. We are ashamed, because even after all we’ve been taught (programmed?) we still know it is wrong. 2.) We have all been lied to and it is frustrating. It hurts and we clearly understand the world (shoot, forget the world, even our little lives) would be a better place if everyone would stop.

Boys lie to girls, girls lie to boys, men lie to women, women lie to men, men lie to men, women lie to women, employees lie to bosses, bosses lie to employees, companies lie to customers, customers lie to companies, races lie to other races, nations lie to other nations, and I’m relatively confident if the human race ever encounters extra terrestrials, we will lie to them too.

So the bottom line is, “What do we do?”

This is too good for just a reply. I’m going to take this out and put it on the big screen. I will have a post forthwith, which will answer the question, “What do we do?”


Here is what I propose:





Don’t Let Setbacks Change The Incredible You


Todays blog post is by guest blogger Tim Mushey from I’ve been following his blog for a while and I’m always impressed with his ability to convey principles easily and succinctly. I believe Tim’s experiences demonstrate an excellent example of what I have been discussing in regards to growth mindset. You can view Tim giving this speech at

Thank you and as always be encouraged

Don’t Let Setbacks Change The Incredible You

It would be unrealistic to have expected our lives to have been without bumps in the road. If anyone claims to have had the perfect life I would say they are not telling the whole story.  Setbacks and challenges are inevitable, but the key is how we each handle each situation when they arise.  Our lives are defined by how we persevere during difficult times, to shape who we are today, and who we want to become tomorrow. I will highlight three prominent game changing moments in my life, and how each event played a role in my development over the years.
Take a moment and think back to elementary (or grade) school. It was quite common to have kids read books out loud in class. The teacher would either have class participation to read a short novel over several classes, or a short story in one class period. It is common knowledge that many people are incredibly nervous when speaking publicly. That anxiety and discomfort was extreme for me because of a childhood stutter that I still manage every day.
I will never be able to fully describe the feelings that consumed my body, and stomach in particular when I knew it was time to read out loud. One time, as an eight year old kid in French class, I don’t think that I was able to fully comprehend my speech challenges quite yet. But I remember being terrified, and stumbling miserably through a passage in a book that my teacher asked me to read out loud. As I continued to stumble, she walked up to me and asked that I open my mouth for her. She commented that if rocks were put in my mouth, maybe I would be able to speak properly!
I would be lying if I said that I had not thought about that moment every day of my life. Anger was the most prominent feeling that I felt when thinking about the situation for years. Eventually the public calling out turned in to a valuable lesson about having thick skin, overcoming embarrassing situations, and being proud of the person that I was born to be.
Turning to my academic results, all I knew were A’s and B+s throughout my schooling until high school graduation. I was an excellent student, and was highly regarded by most who taught me. University brought on some challenges, as I struggled to find my way in a larger, less personal setting. After a lot of hard work, I ended up being a B to B+ student, but not without some setbacks along the way. I will never forget one event in my first year. I took a computer class, and it was apparent early on that I did not understand the content, and was not having any fun. It was a struggle to keep up with the assignments, and my mid-term marks were lower than normal.
Then it happened at the midterm exam – I blanked out, I completely lost it. I would be surprised if I answered one question correctly. I can vividly remember sitting there shaking, those awful feelings back in my stomach again, hoping that I would start to remember something. I failed miserably. I ended up dropping the class, made it up in the second semester and was still accepted in to the business program the following year.
Several years ago, I took on a new position, in a very different industry. Things started off very well, and I achieved great success, earlier than I could have ever hoped. Things were happening within the organization that I did not like, but the success overshadowed some issues within the management team.
By the second year, the economy had taken a turn for the worst, and my sales results were affected greatly. There were changes locally with management, and I was not happy, miserable for that matter. I started to job hunt, realizing that I made a mistake taking the role, and wanted to move on ASAP.
Several months later, the unthinkable happened, I was fired. I was devastated. My parents and in-laws were in town for my son’s birthday, and I had to tell them that I lost my job. This was not supposed to happen to “Tim Mushey”, after all of the success that I had over the years. Those horrible feeling were back in my stomach, and I instantly started to doubt my abilities.

· What had become of my career?
· Was this my fault?
· What would become of me in the future?
· Did I deserve this?

The list of questions was endless.
I had two very difficult weeks coming to terms with the shot to my ego. Luckily, soon after, my personal uprising began. My wife suggested that we take the train to the mountains with our son, to clear our heads. It ended up being a wonderful trip, and since then, my perspective on my career, life and myself as a person have never been clearer. I realized that the job loss was a beginning, not an end. I needed to take some responsibility for what had happened, and start over.
We are certainly defined as people from the successes that we have had in life. But the true indicators of who we have become can be found through the challenges that we have been through, and how we persevered. Bumps in the road or major setbacks can define who we become, in a positive or negative sense; it is really up to the individual to decide. In each scenario above, there were days when I was going to let the events shape me negatively going forward. But I fought – fought very hard, and can look back now on all of those experiences, and say “I DID IT”!

You can connect with Tim at:

LinkedIn Tim Mushey
Twitter @TimMushey73
Google+ Tim Mushey

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