LifeRevelation

Life is a Revelation…be encouraged

Archive for the category “Chuck Palahniuk”

Before We Go Any Further

Stop Sign 2 Clip Art

PLEASE LOOK AT THE DAY & DATE

OF THE LAST POST

THEY DON’T MATCH

Here is my point…lying and believing are intertwined. Someone once commented they believed people wanted to hear a lie just as often as they wanted to be told the truth. While I”m not ready to whole-heartedly embrace that philosophy, I do believe there is a connection between lying and what we want to hear.

Do I believe there should be a NO LYING DAY? Absolutely. I would love to see the concept reported on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, the news wires, and go viral. What a great concept. The realty will probably fall far short.

Why? Because many of us are simply comfortable in our lies. It is where we live and work. Our lies are no more a distinct separate part of our existence. They are part and parcel of who we are. We have lived and breathed them for so long, that our lies feel like the truth, and the truth now feels as strange as lies once did.

We operate in a world that not only encouraged the use of falsehoods, but actually, it many respects rewards it. Whatever the reason for lying, we are masters at justifying it. All the way from “everybody does it” (which is probably true) to “it wasn’t REALLY a lie.”  If we want to, we can find an excuse.

I have received several emails and comments about this subject. Many writers were intrigued by the question of morality it raises, others were more interested in the philosophical underpinnings. There were writers who complained of my over-simplified explanation. The point is, the issue of lying, deserves to be a topic of conversation. It needs the light of us blog writers, the press, think tanks, TED talks, church groups, and folks sitting around having a few beers. In my heart I believe change bubbles up. Only when we the common folk, the 99%, the silent majority, or whatever it is we are going by now, rise up and say, “Wait a minute! This is an issue. Lets talk about it.”, we are going to continue to experience an erosion of truth it all its forms.

I hope this post causes you to think. After you think about lies, and truth, and the role you play in it, maybe you will talk. Start a conversation with a loved one, or your child, the neighbor, your pastor, those in your study group, or any one who is willing to listen. With all my heart I believe change bubbles up. And, just maybe, some day we really will have a day of NO LYING.

Be encouraged!

 

From Those Who Comment…

This post is purely inspired by those who commented on Lying–Maybe…Maybe Not.

Lem Usita writes at www.identityspecialist.wordpress.com. His post show a deft knowledge of leadership and how it ought to work. Her posts are filled with practical, rubber-meets-the-road type of information that I personally crave. I am the just-tell-me-what-to-do-and get out-of-the-way kind of guy, and Lem tells you what and how to do it. He wrote:

You bring up an interesting idea for me – this idea that lying takes on different forms depending on your stage of development – pick your developmental theory. I need to think about what a lie looks like in light of this. Do you have any articles that talk about this?
Thanks for the post.

I responded with:

Lem, first of all let me say how much I enjoy your posts regarding leadership. I would like to swap a few emails, or even a phone call or two , to discuss my experiences in leadership development at a Global 100 manufacturing firm. I think you’ll find the stories interesting.

Developmental theories are kind of like a bad haircut, everyone has had one, but their idea of what it is differs widely. Lying when we are younger is often seen as punishment avoidance. Q.-Did you spill the milk? A.-No way, the cat did it. As we age lying is the result of peer acceptance or is seen as a useful tool to gain something. Such as Q.-Hey Dad, can I have the car keys? A./Q.-Did you get your room cleaned like your Mom asked? A.-Yeah, pretty much (Reality-room looks like a bomb went off in it, but you told the guys it would be no problem getting your Dad’s car and promised to pick them up at 6:00). By the time you have graduated from college and entered the work force, the lies start to look more like CYA. Q.-Did you get the Jones Report done? A.-Yeah, you’ll have it on your desk when you arrive in the morning. (Reality-What the hell is the Jones report?)

If you look at Maslow and Metamotivation, is it possible we are seeking fulfillment of our Being Needs via lying through our teeth?

I don’t have any articles which speak directly about what I’ve written. However, I have pulled from Psychology Journals, books, magazines, newspapers, and friends who I have bombarded with questions, concepts, and theories. While sitting around having a few beers I have often pulled the topic of our conversation from whether the Yankees will pull it together to make another run for the pennant to when do our dreams become reality?

I drive my friends nuts, but as long as I’m buying, they seem to hang around. lol

My email is stephenedwards922@gmail.com. Give me a holler and maybe we can exchange phone numbers. By the way…what do you think…when do dreams become reality?

Another comment I received was from 5kidsmom. She writes at www.carnivalcommunications.wordpress.com. Her writing is clear, pure and cleverly insightful. I have always deeply enjoyed her thought process and delivery. Also in the interest of honesty; her and I have discovered we share remarkably similar, yet different perspectives, so we have agreed to collaborate on a book. She wrote th:

oh my….
>>>>>”Some men (not all, ;) have to lie about ‘WHY’ they lie!!<<<<<<
Rack ’em up boys!! Keep lying about why you’re lying, we’re listening LOL! What he doesn’t realize is….while little boys are lying to their mothers, (???FEAR??) little girls are being taught by their fathers, BOYS LIE!
Too late MacIntyre—-we’re onto you, and just like you, we started ‘getting it’, from a very young age!! That’s no lie ;) One more thing, boys lying to their Mom’s didn’t really make life easier, it probably just sparred them the consequences. So come on guys, you lie because you’re afraid of the wrath lol!

I responded:

Gosh, this lying thing has started our own little personal firestorm. Why? Well probably for two reasons. 1.) We all do it. We aren’t exactly proud of that fact. We don’t go around saying, “Alright! I just told another whopper!” Truth is we are ashamed. We are ashamed, because even after all we’ve been taught (programmed?) we still know it is wrong. 2.) We have all been lied to and it is frustrating. It hurts and we clearly understand the world (shoot, forget the world, even our little lives) would be a better place if everyone would stop.

Boys lie to girls, girls lie to boys, men lie to women, women lie to men, men lie to men, women lie to women, employees lie to bosses, bosses lie to employees, companies lie to customers, customers lie to companies, races lie to other races, nations lie to other nations, and I’m relatively confident if the human race ever encounters extra terrestrials, we will lie to them too.

So the bottom line is, “What do we do?”

This is too good for just a reply. I’m going to take this out and put it on the big screen. I will have a post forthwith, which will answer the question, “What do we do?”

WHAT DO WE DO?

Here is what I propose:

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20,2012 IS A NO LYING DAY

START EMAILING YOUR FRIENDS & EVERYONE IN THE WORLD YOU KNOW! TELL EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH THAT WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2012 IS A NO LYING DAY. WE WILL TELL NO LIES FROM MIDNIGHT TO MIDNIGHT.

NOW GO

BE ENCOURAGED!

GUTS HHG

Head, Heart, & Guts. Could it be this is all we need to be truly successful in every area of our lives? Might it be possible to reduce all the variance of life down to something so simple it could be covered by three diagrams I lifted off of Google images?

Well it might not provide you with the opportunity to become one with everything in the universe, but I’m willing to state it could radically revolutionize most of our lives in a way we never thought possible. Even though I really had to evaluate a lot of disgusting photos to find one that covered Guts without provoking a gag response, I believe these simple drawings portray EXACTLY what we need for a successful life. A life of transformation for us privately and for the businesses we own or work at.

This is the last of a three-part installment. I have arranged these drawings in a certain order, because I believe it is the order they need to be accomplished. Let’s take a look at Guts.

Obviously when you google “guts” you can get some interesting responses. especially if you are searching under Images.  If  you are just doing a regular search then things kind of take a turn toward the bizarre: There is a church in Oklahoma called Guts; a VERY weird article by Chuck Palahniuk; and something about Georgetown University Transportation.

When I think of guts I am reminded of a bumper sticker that was popular when I was much younger, it read: GOD, GUNS, & GUTS IS WHAT MADE THIS COUNTRY GREAT. Although I never was convinced it was the truth, neither did I ever want to engage the owners of those vehicles who had the sticker plastered across their bumper in any type of meaningful dialogue. They tended to be large, burly men with a certain redness reflecting from their necks. Besides they usually had a gunrack cradling a rifle displayed in the back window. Those types of things can severely reduce your desire to prove yourself right.

Needless to say, I am thinking of a different type of guts. The kind that enables you to get up and do what needs to done. It is the part of you that decides to keep pushing when everything in life looks uphill. But let’s be honest…we don’t have that motivation everyday do we?

I am a morning person. The minute the alarm goes off I’m up and raring to go. Jake the Wonder Dog loves it. Susie the Wonder Wife, not so much. But after I’m up there are times when I don’t want to sit down and wrestle with trying to find the exact word to convey what I am thinking as I blog.  I am not excited by the opportunity to answer the 50 -100 emails that show up in my New Mail box every morning.  No that I’m not grateful, because I am, but there are times when all I want to do is put life on pause and go goof off. Just to keep sane, every once in a while I do just that. I take off with Susie the Wonder Wife and simply goof off. But too much of that and all of a sudden instead of 50 – 100 emails, I find 500-1000. Instead of having the time to select the right word or key phrase to express exactly what I am feeling, I am rushing at the speed of light to meet a  fast approaching deadline.

We all have those times don’t we? When we would rather do nothing, or hangout with our buds, or shop, or nearly anything except the job at hand. Well here are few Major Keys I use to keep the motivation high. I put them all in the Key of F:

     Major Key #1 is FREAK. Yeah I’m old enough to remember the 60’s, but this is a little different. Look and think of ideas, situations, and people in entirely new and different ways. Explore different avenues, read different books, look at different magazines, and talk to different people. Do not be afraid to set out in an entirely new way. You need to be unaverage.

     Major Key #2 is FEELING. You need to feel it. Remember it is the root core of what you do. Let it wash over and possess who you are. In other words be authentic. Authenticity is something sorely missing from the business community. When expressed others will feel your authenticity and will respond to it.

     Major Key #3 is FORWARD. Whatever it is you are doing needs to be moving the needle forward. You must be committing value to your life and company each day no matter how insignificant. My stride is only 30 inches. So when I ran across America it took a lot of strides (6,670,930 give or take one or two). Although each one was less than a yard long, when repeated often enough, I was able to cover more than 3,100 miles. each step counts.

     Major Key #4 is FLEXIBLE. Be willing to alter your plans from time to time. Having a map to reach your personal and business goals is important. Without at least an idea of where you want to go you will spend a lot of time chasing down bunny trails. Being flexible is different. Sometimes Plan B is Plan A. You want to roll with the punches. They hurt less if you go with it. Standing rigid and not giving an inch insures optimum bruising.        

     Major Key #5 is FORCE. There will be times when all you can do is take the bull by the tail and face the situation, as my Father liked to say. The only attitude which will get you through the day is your tough, thick hide, perseverance. Fortunately you should not have to use this too often. If you find yourselves resorting to this frequently then you might want to take a serious look at what and how you are doing. Frequent use of FORCE is a big red flag telling you something is dreadfully off track.

     Major Key #6 is FUN. Yuck it up. Learn to turn down the heat and intensity and ratchet up the good times. Blow off steam with your spouse, kids, and/or friends. Turn on the enjoyable. Life is too short to live it any other way. I use this one the most.

     Major Key #7 is FORGIVENESS. There have been times in my life when remembering an offense or disappointment has kept me being at my best. It holds onto my thoughts. I’m not clear and open to give or receive. Forgive others when they fall short, which they will do from time to time. I’m not saying don’t have standards, just realize that we are all human and as a result mistakes are bound to happen. The hardest part is to forgive yourself. Don’t keep beating yourself up when you drop the ball. When you look in the mirror and see the enemy, it is time to make peace. 

     This concludes our HEAD, HEART, & GUTS trilogy. I’ve had fun putting this together. I hope you have found it rewarding. As always, my goal is to encourage you to live a full and exciting life. May all your life dreams become a reality.

Be encouraged.

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