LifeRevelation

Life is a Revelation…be encouraged

Archive for the category “head”

New Post

http://www.envirotechinstruments.com/news.html

It has been quite a while since I have published a post of my own content.  There have been roughly two reasons for this. The first being that my energies have gone into the two projects that I hold dear to my heart a) writing my book and (b) the creation of LifeRevelation as a company.  The second reason was I kept finding great, life-changing content from other blogs that I wanted to reblog. I felt they had a great message and I wanted to do my part in spreading the good news.

Now I have something I want to talk about.

But first let me entertain you with a story.

The morning was overcast. In fact, for several previous hours it had been pouring down rain.  Now it looked like the front may move on, or maybe it would start raining again. I was a poor predictor of weather. Whatever I thought it was going to do, it usually did the opposite, but today I really wanted the sun to shine.

It was April 1, 1996 and this was an important day. It was the beginning of my run across America. I had planned, trained, and fretted about this day for the past eighteen months. There were thousands of little tiny details which needed to fall perfectly in place, and they had. Looking back it was a miracle I had gotten to this point. Everything had to point to this moment. Any number of things could have gone wrong, but they didn’t. People I never expected and people I didn’t know had stepped up and volunteered their time, money, and energies to make this happen.

My ego had dreamed about the hundreds who would come to see me begin. The business men and women who would delay their morning agendas to come down to the beach. The local runners who would write notes to schools so their children could witness this event. Local news outlets would jockey for the best position to catch the boardwalk, the sand, the ocean, and me in the early morning light.

Then there was reality and reality was proving my ego to be a damn liar.

On the beach that fateful morning was my wife Susie and I, and two other people and a dog. A husband and wife out teaching their black Lab to fetch. He was picking up the rudiments of fetching pretty quickly.

My Timex Ironman watch digitally moved closer to the 8:00 start time. I tried to control my wavering emotions; “God I am beginning a run across America!” “This is nuts there are only two people and a dog here.” “I am about to start an adventure of a lifetime.” “There are only two people and a dog here?”

Susie walked over to the lady to tell her what we were doing and to ask if she would photograph us. The lady agreed without any comment on our big adventure.

My watch said 8:00, it was time. Susie and I took off our shoes and strolled into the Pacific Ocean up to our ankles. Immediately we noticed the jellyfish completely surrounding us. “Just great” I thought to myself, “five seconds into the run and I get attacked by jellyfish. No amount of training prepared me for this.”

But the jellyfish kept their distant and Susie and I did the quickest hug, smile, and jump out of the water combination on record. Fortunately the lady manning the camera seemed to have great reflexes because she got a picture of us before we landed on the sand.

A few moments later my running shoes were laced and I was running down Pacific Grove’s Ocean View Boulevard.

That is when it hit me:

YOU IDIOT THIS IS CRAZY!!!

Never before in my life have I ever wanted to quit something so badly. Every ounce of my being wanted to stop right then and there. Maybe Susie could claim the wounded woman and get her old job back as CFO of a trucking company. I could claim an injury…or temporary insanity…or just come clean and say, “Sorry you all. This is just more than I can do.”

All the time I was possessed by these thoughts I kept running. I didn’t do it because I knew I could run through these doubts. It just never occurred to me I could quit while I was thinking about how to quit, and save my marriage.

I knew Susie would kill me if I quit. On training runs when I would be nearly dying after running 50+ miles in 90 degree heat with 93% humidity, Susie would pull up in our car and ask, “Can’t you do another mile or two? I mean come on, you can make at least that little bit, can’t you? Being married to Susie was not for the faint of heart.

I began to notice something as I ran. I felt good. In fact, I felt like I was floating along. There was no effort to swinging my arms forward. My head rested evenly releasing any tension in my shoulders. My legs felt like they were floating and my feet thought they were wrapped in pillows.

But something else was also going on. This was on a much deeper level. A sense of peace was bubbling to the surface. The panic began to dissipate. I felt free. The clouds where rolling away and so was my ego and worry. The sun came out and I began to ease into the running I knew I could do for miles on end.

When you look at what is going on in your life, how does it feel? Are there situations and circumstances that just scare the bejesus out of you? Are sometimes you just down right afraid? Is fear as real to you as tonight’s TV schedule?

May I suggest a quality that my eighth grade home room teacher called, “Stick-to-it-tiveness.” I call it perseverance. It is not a wonder drug that will cure every heart, soul, mental, and physical ailment known to mankind. But what it will do in certain situations is help you get through some pretty rough patches in your life.

If one thing worked for everybody we wouldn’t have any problems in the world. One size doesn’t fit all. But occasionally what has worked for one person will help out another.

Be encouraged!

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Time Is On My Side

http://www.bowdoindailysun.com

Time is on my side, yes it is.

Time is on my side, yes it is.

(Time Is On My Side by Jimmy Norman and made famous by The Rolling Stones)

Time is one of the seven fundamental physical quantities in the International System of Units. It traditionally has taken two different forms. The first being the calendar and the second form being represented by the clock. For the purpose of this post we will be focusing on the clock.

The clock has never been my favorite unit of measurement for time. Probably due to the fact that in the past I was late for everything. Years ago I learned a trick for defeating this deficit in my character make-up. I began to set my watch ten minutes ahead. Although in my mind I understood what I had done, the reality was if I looked at my watch and discovered it was time for me to be somewhere I would immediately begin to move heaven and earth to get there. Of course, I still had ten minutes, but my mind would overlook reality and simply begin issuing commands as if I were late. Later, I turned all the clocks in my home ten minutes fast and have eliminated my lateness. Susie is not particularly fond of this method of brainwashing, but after twenty years she has adapted. Only rarely now does she ask, “What time is it in the real world?” In the interest of full disclosure, one night while she was sleeping I got up, tipped toed around to her side of the bed, and set her watch ten minutes fast as well.

Back in 1977 two social psychologists, Dan Barton and John Darley from Princeton University, set about conducting an interesting experiment involving the interpretation of time. They approached Princeton seminary students who were preparing a speech on the parable of the Good Samaritan. Each student was told either: A) He is late, that he was actually expected in the lecture hall a few minutes ago, and that his instructors are waiting for him. or B) He has plenty of time, but might as well start to go over now.

As each student headed to the lecture hall he passes a person slumped over and coughing profusely, obviously in need of assistance. Of course, the person is an accomplice of the researchers. With no one else nearby the seminary students are confronted with a decision. While going to give a speech about the Good Samaritan, who stopped to deliver aid to a hurting individual when no one else would, do they stop to help or do they go on to their lecture. The only difference in the two groups is the time pressure. One group believes they are late, the other thinks they have plenty of time.

The majority of those who believed they had plenty of time stopped to render assistance. Of those who believed they were running late 90% failed to stop.  All students involved admitted they saw the individual slumped over and understood he needed help.

Allow yourself to slow down and look around. Are there people in your family, your work place, and/or your group of friends who might be “slumped over” and in need of help? Are we missing anything? Could someone we know be telegraphing pain, hurt, stress, worry, and/or fear and we are missing it? Reduce our speed, quiet our thoughts, and remove the blinders from our eyes and take a closer inspection of those we interact with on a daily basis.

Let me know what you find.

Be encouraged!

Time is one of the seven fundamental physical quantities in the International System of Units.

Every Once In A While…

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

WE DO IT RIGHT

Every once in a while, we as human beings get it right. These photos encouraged my to continue the crusade of human decency and kindness. I hope you will not only be uplifted by them, but also remember what little it takes to be encouraging to another on the journey. The following is copied from http://themetapicture.com.

Be encouraged!

funny-faith-in-humanity-restored

funny-faith-in-humanity-nice-people

cool-people-being-nice

people-doing-nice-things

Motivation?

Motivation?

The relationship between visits to seek.com.au and Web conferences

http://www.themaninblue.com/writing/perspective/2006/10/11/

Does this look familiar? I think we can all see ourselves in this graph. We are running low on motivation, then we go to a conference/seminar/retreat  and suddenly we are on inspiration steroids, without the nasty side effects, unless you count being slightly over-the-top annoying to your co-workers. Then the reality of the job/family/personal relationships start to encroach on our stimulating high and we begin a downward trend. At first, we tell ourselves it is alright. There is a reason nothing grows a mountain tops, it is unreasonable to believe we could be highly motivated all the time.

We slip a little more, but we are busy and it is difficult to keep track of this all the time.  We’ve got commitments, there are reports, job issues, kid’s soccer and dance, significant others who aren’t quite as supporting as we would like, and before long our motivation has sunk back to where it was before our big event.

This is one remedy:

Trying to maintain innovation motivation using constant Web conferences

http://www.themaninblue.com/writing/perspective/2006/10/11/

The trouble with this concept is you end up going to every type of motivational seminar you hear about, you read the top motivational books, you subscribe to the motivational emails, and you end up driving yourself batty trying to stay on top of your game.

We need to stop the merry-go-round and get off. I believe there is a way to avoid the roller-coaster and still keep our drive and passion running high. I know there is a way to enjoy the benefits of inspiration and enthusiasm without it becoming another burden in life to deal with. The reason I am convinced of this is because I have utilized it in my own life. I have been able to eliminate the erratic up and down flow of emotions. I have discovered a method of smoothing out the rough patches and maintaining the energy and excitement.

I was asked one time by a slightly skeptical individual if I was a motivational speaker. When I replied I was he had a look on his face like I had fallen directly into his trap. With as much disdain as he could muster he said, “So motivate me?” I looked directly into his stare and said, “I can’t.” He looked like the cat when the mouse gets a way. He stammered back, “Whaddya mean?”

I ran through much the same scenario as I have outlined above and then said, “Only you can motivate you.” At that point he was intrigued enough to forsake the testosterone fueled attitude and we began to talk.

I told him how all the words and encouragement in the world don’t mean anything until the individual begins to act. There must be a decision. There must be action. There must be follow through. Only when we make a choice to change our ways can our circumstances change. Thinking all the right thoughts will help and reading the books by the most influential motivational speakers will assist, but nothing will happen until you make a decision.

I have gone from deceiver to achiever, dope to hope, and mess to success. I did not do it by reading or hearing or thinking, I did it by getting up off my sofa and acting on what I knew to be true. I added fuel to the fire and turned up the flame. Turning the criminal life I was leading into a life of benefit to others was no overnight sensation. It was hard, continual work. There was a lot of sweat and tears, and then more sweat and even more tears. When the going got tough (and it always will, at some point) I lowered my head and kept going. I was not about to give up no matter what. I knew what was behind me. I had no desire for my past to dictate my future. It was full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes. There was no exit ramp. There was no time out area. There was no alternative, except to move forward. The options list had been added to the fire. Now maybe you don’t have the drama I had or maybe you have more, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except getting up and doing something. There are no excuses. There are no reasons. The only thing left to do, is do.

Is changing your thought pattern beneficial? Absolutely! Is reading inspiring books good? You bet it is, I’m reading inspirational material all the time. Is associating with others who share my desire alright? Yes it is, I have surrounded myself with people of integrity, who share my vision for changing the world. Isn’t all of that enough? No it isn’t. You’ve got to take action. All of those ideas will help, but until you take matters into your own hands and implement everything into your actions, your emotional state will remain flat, or worse, continue in a downward descent.

Will you have fears? Yes you will. Will you get scared? Yes you will. It will be so bad at times that your insides liquefy. You will get headaches. You will sweat profusely at times. You will think you can’t go on. You will want to quit. You will want to give up. You will cry. You will yell. You will curse. You will hate it at times with every ounce of your being. You will imagine death to be easier (it is not). It will be both mental and physical. But keep moving forward.

Does this sound like the old coach revving up the players for the big game. Yes it does! Why? Because it works, pure and simple. Actions change our lives. It isn’t rocket science, thank God or I would never have gotten it. What it is, is plain old fashion hard work. I know that isn’t popular, there is a reason why there is a glut of “labor saving devices” in the market. But it can’t be avoided. An alcoholic must go through withdrawals. The same is true for any type of drug addiction.  The withdrawals are painful, uncomfortable, and sometimes feel like hell itself, but they work…and they are unavoidable.

Forging the life we want isn’t always sweet chimes, white fluffy clouds, and incense. More often it resembles a hard day of baling hay. The sweat stings your eyes. Your nostrils are clogged with the thick dust of hay. Your arms feel like they will fall off. Your mind goes into tunnel thought. Your back is made aware of a whole new level of searing pain, but at the end of the day, when you look up in the loft and see it full of stacked bales, the pride you feel is overwhelming. A sense of job well done. Nothing automatic about it. You worked for it and have the proof of your labors.

Forge a new life. Set yourself free. Work for it. Feel the sting, the ache, the desire. Know in your mind it is more important than your next breath. Feel it in everything within you. Unleash yourself. Cut the chain and run. Run until your lungs burn like hot fiery pokers have been shoved down your throat. Feel the exhaustion. Feel the power. Feel the freedom.

Live the life you want. Whatever that is. Is it being in the center of the road? Is it the road less traveled? Is it the road traveled by your friends, family, and loved ones? Is it not even a road? Is it a path? Is it just two points strung out on a distant map in your mind? Is it uncharted territory? Is it a deep and rolling sea? Is it a small babbling brook? Is it hunkered down in a home you love as much as anything else on earth? It doesn’t matter what it is…live the life you want.

Whatever it is, live it to the raw fullest. Be inflamed with your life. Let it consume your being and ooze from your pores. Don’t hold back and never give up. Have it stamped on your forehead. Burn it into your consciousness. Put it out front. Wear it on your sleeve. Brandish it like a double edge sword. Hold your banner high. Keep it up. Don’t give up. Keep adding fuel to the fire.

Action is the key…now get up and go for it!

BE ALIVE!
BE ALIVE!

BE ALIVE!

BE ALIVE!

BE ALIVE!

BE ALIVE!

Be encouraged! 

Be encouraged!

A Personal Story

http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Depressed-Man-Sitting-in-Dark-Room-Posters_i8654375_.htm

A Personal Story 

Let me tell you a personal story.

Several years ago a friend of mine was driving me someplace. I don’t remember where, and it doesn’t matter. We were laughing and talking about who knows what. Probably the kind of things men talk about when it is only men, which means sex. It was a perfect summer day. The sky was crystal blue without a cloud from horizon to horizon and the sun was warm, but not hot.

As he was driving he began to steer the car toward the curb and decrease his speed. Since I was always on the alert, due to the kind of life I was living, I immediately began to evaluate the situation. I know he sensed the rising tension within me, because his next words were, “Relax Steve, I only want to ask you one question.”  I still wasn’t entirely convinced, but this was my best friend. He knew all about what I did to earn my seven-figure a year income, because he was my right-hand man in the organization I had built. While I always kept at least a few things to myself as insurance, he knew enough, and was as deeply involved as I was, which was a kind of insurance in and of itself. Of course there was always the threat he might want to take the quick route to the top of the food chain, but I didn’t believe he had it in him to pull the trigger, at least not at close range in the front seat of his car. Nonetheless, it was always good to be cautious, so my right hand inched slowly to the inside of my jacket.

When the car had come to a stop, he reached over and shut off the engine. The stereo died and all I could hear was the rush of traffic along the freeway and my heart beat, pounding a mile a minute. He shifted his weight in the seat and turned to face me. The look on his face is still crystal clear in my mind over three decades later, as I heard him ask,

“Steve, don’t you think it would have been better for all of us, if you had never been born?”

I felt like all the oxygen had suddenly been sucked out of the car. There was a ringing in my ears, more than likely from the sudden surge of adrenaline. I was engulfed in the most complete silence I have ever experienced. I no longer heard the cars as they whizzed by. Nor did I hear the birds chirping in the nearby trees. It was just the ringing and the vast silence.

I don’t recall what I stammered out, but his question hit the mark. I carried that question with me. During quiet moments I would take it out and think about it. What was my worth? Why am I alive? What is this thing we flippantly refer to as life? What am I doing here? Why am I here?

It would be many more years before I would have my “life revelation” and find the answer to those questions.  Those were dark years. Not that I didn’t learn from them, I did. But I learned the hard way.

Now I am far removed from the events of those years. I have created an entirely different person from the one who lived in those times. One of my readers once wrote and said I was “plagued” by my past. I’ve given considerable thought to that sentiment. I believe the reader is/was wrong. I am not “plagued” by the choices I once made. I am well aware of them and the impact they had on me and others at the time.  But the operative word in the last sentence is “had.” No longer am I governed by those actions. I have a deep passion to help others find their True Path in life. I have discovered we only get a set number of years and wasting them by floundering around seeking our direction is counter productive to what we want to accomplish.

But plagued? No way! I have triumphed over that life! I have come out on the other side victorious! I did so with the patience and love of the one I am now married to. She saw the possibilities. She had/has the faith.

This post is difficult to end. I don’t have a nice and tidy wrap-up. I am not inclined to rally the troops and lead you in any type of charge. I just want you to know if your love is filled with drama, more or less it doesn’t matter, there is hope. You can change. I can show you how.

Or if you have that person in your life who no matter what you do, they never change. You have poured time, money, effort, prayers, and everything else you could think of into their lives and they never change. I can tell you not to give up hope. There is and always will be the possibility, even up to and including the moment they draw their last breath, that they can change.

I know…I use to be one of them.

I am always available to talk…stephenedwards922@gmail.com or 812-314-1358.

Be encouraged!

 

Virtue #2 – Accountability

The above poster was found at http://tradingphrases.com/Definition-Designs.html

Accountability is nothing more than taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions. If you did it, own up to it.

Sounds all nice and easy doesn’t it? Pretty much one of the first things our parents try to affect deeply into our young impressionable brains. It is one of the few bedrock beliefs we all seem to agree on.

Then why isn’t it happening?

Probably all sorts of reason, but the one that strikes me from personal experience is…it is hard to do.

Several years ago when I was new to the world of manufacturing I carried a tub of parts to the mainline assembly area. As a member of management I was not “officially” supposed to do that. It was my job to make sure the parts got there…not actually do it. So when I was on my way to a meeting at the other side of the plant and happened to glance over and see the guy in the process running out of a particular part I should have reached for my radio, found the appropriate channel, called the assembly line Team Leader, told him the issue (always issue, never problem), then he would have called the Team Leader in Material Handling, he would have called an Assistant Team Leader in Material Handling, who then would have found the person responsible for delivering parts to this particular process, told the associate about the issue, and then that associate would have delivered the tub of parts the twelve feet to the process guy. Instead I picked up the tub of parts and carried them to the process, but because I was in a hurry (I was always in a hurry) when I went to set the parts down, instead of setting them all the way down on the workbench I dropped them then last foot or so. When the tub hit the workbench, one of the metal parts jumped up and struck me in the corner of my nose. I felt it, but I didn’t think too much about it. Besides I had a meeting I needed to get to and I was seriously getting worried about being late and with this company the very first thing they told you, after there would be no discussions of unions, was to never, ever, never be late for a meeting.

Then it happened.

Another manager came running up to me with this look of horror and asked, “Steve, what happened?” Immediately I knew I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t just explain what happened, because it would it mean I had broken one of the rules and I like I said I was still new at the company…so to buy some time while my mind raced like a frazzled bunny in front of a Hummer, I said with as relaxed smile on my face as I could muster, “What do you mean?” She gasped back, “My God look at yourself, you’ve got blood everywhere.”

At this point I should explain I tend to bleed from any wound on my head like a stuck pig, as the saying goes. Yes, I understand all head lacerations tend to bleed more than when they are inflicted on other parts of one’s anatomy, but I spout blood like Mt St. Helens spouts ashes.

So I look at myself…and even I am a little frightened. My shirt is literally soaked in bright red blood. Now the wheels in the old brain are really turning. No more frazzled bunny, I am nearing freakout stage. I stammer, “Uhhhh, I don’t know.”

Yes that is what I said.

She says we got to get you to Med-Check (the in-plant emergency care facility). I think, “Christ there goes my meeting.”

But wait it gets better.

As she is hustling me across the plant to a qualified health care provider, we round a corner and there stands the Plant Manager. Now the Plant Manager is a man who, rumor has it, could break brass balls with his stare. One look at me and he breaks into a jog (this is remarkable because behind his back, off property, in sealed rooms, we would call him Sloth, because of the rate of speed which he usually moved through the plant at).

Here comes the question.

“Steve, what happened?”

I am doomed. Sweet Jesus! I had imagined such a good career with this company.

Again my brain can produce no better reply than, “I don’t know.”

His eyes peer like laser beams from underneath his bushy eyebrows. They lock onto mine, I find it impossible to turn away. He says, “Get his ass to Med-Check before he bleeds to death and I have to fill out even more paper work.”

They didn’t fire me, nor did they order any psychological exams, because they were concerned they had hired an idiot. Years later (when I was considerably more secure in my career with the company) I confessed to the female manager and the Plant Manager what had actually happened. The Plant Manager roared with laughter and then said, “Yeah, you damn fool I watched the whole thing from the other side of the line.”

Be accountable, while it may be painful at the time, people will respect you more. Maybe, more importantly, you will respect yourself more.

Be encouraged!

Let’s Go the Other Way

This lying thing seems to have set off a firestorm.

I am glad.

I have had comments from literally hundreds of people who are simply sick and tired of being lied to on every level of their life. From the nurse at the doctor’s office who tells them, “Please have a seat, the doctor will see you momentarily.” to “Yes, Darling, I do love you.” to “Please hold, all of our operators are busy. Our next available operator will be with you shortly.” They have been lied to by family members, lovers, church members, grocery store clerks, ministers, funeral home directors, teachers, coaches, authors, politicians, governments, in short, by nearly everyone they come in contact with during their daily life.

People have  emailed, phoned and stopped me in restaurants to share their thoughts on why people lie. Their ideas range from fear of name your subject, pride, the environment, genetics, DNA, chromosomes, gender, income, geographical location, age, race, life style, income, mindset, weather, religion, sexual preference, hair color (!), and nearly every other type of demarcation you can think of.

But I wonder if we are not looking at the wrong end of the stick.

By that I mean should we be concentrating our efforts on not lying or should we be focusing on telling the Truth?

Several years ago I took up mountain biking. I had been an ultra-distance runner for several years and after running across the United States I had retired. I stopped doing anything resembling exercise. I didn’t watch my diet. I did nothing to break a sweat and ate whatever I wanted, which meant a lot of fast food. Predictably, after a few years, my mid section began to expand, the muscle tautness said good-bye and I started to look like someone who eats a lot and is allergic to exercise. So one of my friends called and said, “Hey you are getting fat. We have an extra bike, why don’t you go ride with us?” So not having any excuse, other than, I don’t want to, I went.

I loved it. It was fun to grunt up a hill and bomb down the back side like I did when I was a kid. The rush I got from the exhilaration of flying downhill like a maniac was balanced by the intensity and effort it required to get up the hill. the only drawback was my riding skills were a little rough, but considering I hadn’t been on a bicycle since I was 16 years old and received my driver’s license, I felt his was understandable.

On the last downhill I scanned the trail ahead and noticed a deep rut in the middle. Immediately I understood I needed to avoid the rut and here is where I learned my first mountain biking lesson. You do not look at what you are trying to miss, you look at where you want to go. So as I stared at the rut, I inexplicably rode right into it. The front wheel twisted, the bike came to an abrupt halt, the rear end came up, and I went head first over the handlebars. This is when I suffered a repeat of mountain bike lesson #1. You don’t watch where you don’t want to go. On the other side of the rut was a an egg-shaped rock, about the size of my head, with the small pointy end sticking up facing me, embedded in the ground. As I watched, my chin made a bee line for it. BAM!!!

You don’t concentrate on where you don’t want to go.

So if lying is what we want to avoid, shouldn’t we focus on telling the Truth? Instead of having a NO LYING DAY, we should have a TELL THE TRUTH DAY.

TELL THE TRUTH DAY!

Seems like a good idea to me. Please comment and let me know what you think.

Be encouraged!

Before We Go Any Further

Stop Sign 2 Clip Art

PLEASE LOOK AT THE DAY & DATE

OF THE LAST POST

THEY DON’T MATCH

Here is my point…lying and believing are intertwined. Someone once commented they believed people wanted to hear a lie just as often as they wanted to be told the truth. While I”m not ready to whole-heartedly embrace that philosophy, I do believe there is a connection between lying and what we want to hear.

Do I believe there should be a NO LYING DAY? Absolutely. I would love to see the concept reported on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, the news wires, and go viral. What a great concept. The realty will probably fall far short.

Why? Because many of us are simply comfortable in our lies. It is where we live and work. Our lies are no more a distinct separate part of our existence. They are part and parcel of who we are. We have lived and breathed them for so long, that our lies feel like the truth, and the truth now feels as strange as lies once did.

We operate in a world that not only encouraged the use of falsehoods, but actually, it many respects rewards it. Whatever the reason for lying, we are masters at justifying it. All the way from “everybody does it” (which is probably true) to “it wasn’t REALLY a lie.”  If we want to, we can find an excuse.

I have received several emails and comments about this subject. Many writers were intrigued by the question of morality it raises, others were more interested in the philosophical underpinnings. There were writers who complained of my over-simplified explanation. The point is, the issue of lying, deserves to be a topic of conversation. It needs the light of us blog writers, the press, think tanks, TED talks, church groups, and folks sitting around having a few beers. In my heart I believe change bubbles up. Only when we the common folk, the 99%, the silent majority, or whatever it is we are going by now, rise up and say, “Wait a minute! This is an issue. Lets talk about it.”, we are going to continue to experience an erosion of truth it all its forms.

I hope this post causes you to think. After you think about lies, and truth, and the role you play in it, maybe you will talk. Start a conversation with a loved one, or your child, the neighbor, your pastor, those in your study group, or any one who is willing to listen. With all my heart I believe change bubbles up. And, just maybe, some day we really will have a day of NO LYING.

Be encouraged!

 

From Those Who Comment…

This post is purely inspired by those who commented on Lying–Maybe…Maybe Not.

Lem Usita writes at www.identityspecialist.wordpress.com. His post show a deft knowledge of leadership and how it ought to work. Her posts are filled with practical, rubber-meets-the-road type of information that I personally crave. I am the just-tell-me-what-to-do-and get out-of-the-way kind of guy, and Lem tells you what and how to do it. He wrote:

You bring up an interesting idea for me – this idea that lying takes on different forms depending on your stage of development – pick your developmental theory. I need to think about what a lie looks like in light of this. Do you have any articles that talk about this?
Thanks for the post.

I responded with:

Lem, first of all let me say how much I enjoy your posts regarding leadership. I would like to swap a few emails, or even a phone call or two , to discuss my experiences in leadership development at a Global 100 manufacturing firm. I think you’ll find the stories interesting.

Developmental theories are kind of like a bad haircut, everyone has had one, but their idea of what it is differs widely. Lying when we are younger is often seen as punishment avoidance. Q.-Did you spill the milk? A.-No way, the cat did it. As we age lying is the result of peer acceptance or is seen as a useful tool to gain something. Such as Q.-Hey Dad, can I have the car keys? A./Q.-Did you get your room cleaned like your Mom asked? A.-Yeah, pretty much (Reality-room looks like a bomb went off in it, but you told the guys it would be no problem getting your Dad’s car and promised to pick them up at 6:00). By the time you have graduated from college and entered the work force, the lies start to look more like CYA. Q.-Did you get the Jones Report done? A.-Yeah, you’ll have it on your desk when you arrive in the morning. (Reality-What the hell is the Jones report?)

If you look at Maslow and Metamotivation, is it possible we are seeking fulfillment of our Being Needs via lying through our teeth?

I don’t have any articles which speak directly about what I’ve written. However, I have pulled from Psychology Journals, books, magazines, newspapers, and friends who I have bombarded with questions, concepts, and theories. While sitting around having a few beers I have often pulled the topic of our conversation from whether the Yankees will pull it together to make another run for the pennant to when do our dreams become reality?

I drive my friends nuts, but as long as I’m buying, they seem to hang around. lol

My email is stephenedwards922@gmail.com. Give me a holler and maybe we can exchange phone numbers. By the way…what do you think…when do dreams become reality?

Another comment I received was from 5kidsmom. She writes at www.carnivalcommunications.wordpress.com. Her writing is clear, pure and cleverly insightful. I have always deeply enjoyed her thought process and delivery. Also in the interest of honesty; her and I have discovered we share remarkably similar, yet different perspectives, so we have agreed to collaborate on a book. She wrote th:

oh my….
>>>>>”Some men (not all, ;) have to lie about ‘WHY’ they lie!!<<<<<<
Rack ’em up boys!! Keep lying about why you’re lying, we’re listening LOL! What he doesn’t realize is….while little boys are lying to their mothers, (???FEAR??) little girls are being taught by their fathers, BOYS LIE!
Too late MacIntyre—-we’re onto you, and just like you, we started ‘getting it’, from a very young age!! That’s no lie ;) One more thing, boys lying to their Mom’s didn’t really make life easier, it probably just sparred them the consequences. So come on guys, you lie because you’re afraid of the wrath lol!

I responded:

Gosh, this lying thing has started our own little personal firestorm. Why? Well probably for two reasons. 1.) We all do it. We aren’t exactly proud of that fact. We don’t go around saying, “Alright! I just told another whopper!” Truth is we are ashamed. We are ashamed, because even after all we’ve been taught (programmed?) we still know it is wrong. 2.) We have all been lied to and it is frustrating. It hurts and we clearly understand the world (shoot, forget the world, even our little lives) would be a better place if everyone would stop.

Boys lie to girls, girls lie to boys, men lie to women, women lie to men, men lie to men, women lie to women, employees lie to bosses, bosses lie to employees, companies lie to customers, customers lie to companies, races lie to other races, nations lie to other nations, and I’m relatively confident if the human race ever encounters extra terrestrials, we will lie to them too.

So the bottom line is, “What do we do?”

This is too good for just a reply. I’m going to take this out and put it on the big screen. I will have a post forthwith, which will answer the question, “What do we do?”

WHAT DO WE DO?

Here is what I propose:

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20,2012 IS A NO LYING DAY

START EMAILING YOUR FRIENDS & EVERYONE IN THE WORLD YOU KNOW! TELL EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH THAT WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2012 IS A NO LYING DAY. WE WILL TELL NO LIES FROM MIDNIGHT TO MIDNIGHT.

NOW GO

BE ENCOURAGED!

GUTS HHG

Head, Heart, & Guts. Could it be this is all we need to be truly successful in every area of our lives? Might it be possible to reduce all the variance of life down to something so simple it could be covered by three diagrams I lifted off of Google images?

Well it might not provide you with the opportunity to become one with everything in the universe, but I’m willing to state it could radically revolutionize most of our lives in a way we never thought possible. Even though I really had to evaluate a lot of disgusting photos to find one that covered Guts without provoking a gag response, I believe these simple drawings portray EXACTLY what we need for a successful life. A life of transformation for us privately and for the businesses we own or work at.

This is the last of a three-part installment. I have arranged these drawings in a certain order, because I believe it is the order they need to be accomplished. Let’s take a look at Guts.

Obviously when you google “guts” you can get some interesting responses. especially if you are searching under Images.  If  you are just doing a regular search then things kind of take a turn toward the bizarre: There is a church in Oklahoma called Guts; a VERY weird article by Chuck Palahniuk; and something about Georgetown University Transportation.

When I think of guts I am reminded of a bumper sticker that was popular when I was much younger, it read: GOD, GUNS, & GUTS IS WHAT MADE THIS COUNTRY GREAT. Although I never was convinced it was the truth, neither did I ever want to engage the owners of those vehicles who had the sticker plastered across their bumper in any type of meaningful dialogue. They tended to be large, burly men with a certain redness reflecting from their necks. Besides they usually had a gunrack cradling a rifle displayed in the back window. Those types of things can severely reduce your desire to prove yourself right.

Needless to say, I am thinking of a different type of guts. The kind that enables you to get up and do what needs to done. It is the part of you that decides to keep pushing when everything in life looks uphill. But let’s be honest…we don’t have that motivation everyday do we?

I am a morning person. The minute the alarm goes off I’m up and raring to go. Jake the Wonder Dog loves it. Susie the Wonder Wife, not so much. But after I’m up there are times when I don’t want to sit down and wrestle with trying to find the exact word to convey what I am thinking as I blog.  I am not excited by the opportunity to answer the 50 -100 emails that show up in my New Mail box every morning.  No that I’m not grateful, because I am, but there are times when all I want to do is put life on pause and go goof off. Just to keep sane, every once in a while I do just that. I take off with Susie the Wonder Wife and simply goof off. But too much of that and all of a sudden instead of 50 – 100 emails, I find 500-1000. Instead of having the time to select the right word or key phrase to express exactly what I am feeling, I am rushing at the speed of light to meet a  fast approaching deadline.

We all have those times don’t we? When we would rather do nothing, or hangout with our buds, or shop, or nearly anything except the job at hand. Well here are few Major Keys I use to keep the motivation high. I put them all in the Key of F:

     Major Key #1 is FREAK. Yeah I’m old enough to remember the 60’s, but this is a little different. Look and think of ideas, situations, and people in entirely new and different ways. Explore different avenues, read different books, look at different magazines, and talk to different people. Do not be afraid to set out in an entirely new way. You need to be unaverage.

     Major Key #2 is FEELING. You need to feel it. Remember it is the root core of what you do. Let it wash over and possess who you are. In other words be authentic. Authenticity is something sorely missing from the business community. When expressed others will feel your authenticity and will respond to it.

     Major Key #3 is FORWARD. Whatever it is you are doing needs to be moving the needle forward. You must be committing value to your life and company each day no matter how insignificant. My stride is only 30 inches. So when I ran across America it took a lot of strides (6,670,930 give or take one or two). Although each one was less than a yard long, when repeated often enough, I was able to cover more than 3,100 miles. each step counts.

     Major Key #4 is FLEXIBLE. Be willing to alter your plans from time to time. Having a map to reach your personal and business goals is important. Without at least an idea of where you want to go you will spend a lot of time chasing down bunny trails. Being flexible is different. Sometimes Plan B is Plan A. You want to roll with the punches. They hurt less if you go with it. Standing rigid and not giving an inch insures optimum bruising.        

     Major Key #5 is FORCE. There will be times when all you can do is take the bull by the tail and face the situation, as my Father liked to say. The only attitude which will get you through the day is your tough, thick hide, perseverance. Fortunately you should not have to use this too often. If you find yourselves resorting to this frequently then you might want to take a serious look at what and how you are doing. Frequent use of FORCE is a big red flag telling you something is dreadfully off track.

     Major Key #6 is FUN. Yuck it up. Learn to turn down the heat and intensity and ratchet up the good times. Blow off steam with your spouse, kids, and/or friends. Turn on the enjoyable. Life is too short to live it any other way. I use this one the most.

     Major Key #7 is FORGIVENESS. There have been times in my life when remembering an offense or disappointment has kept me being at my best. It holds onto my thoughts. I’m not clear and open to give or receive. Forgive others when they fall short, which they will do from time to time. I’m not saying don’t have standards, just realize that we are all human and as a result mistakes are bound to happen. The hardest part is to forgive yourself. Don’t keep beating yourself up when you drop the ball. When you look in the mirror and see the enemy, it is time to make peace. 

     This concludes our HEAD, HEART, & GUTS trilogy. I’ve had fun putting this together. I hope you have found it rewarding. As always, my goal is to encourage you to live a full and exciting life. May all your life dreams become a reality.

Be encouraged.

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